Happy Sunday my loves! Lately I have been exploring what it means to love yourself, and reflecting on the love I have for myself. There was a point in my life where I was more concerned about how others see me, rather than how I see me. How many times have you heard, “You have to love yourself, to be loved by someone else”? Whether I wanted to believe it or not, it is valid wisdom. To practice self love, it is important to reflect on how you feel about yourself. Let’s explore the journey to self love.
My perspective of self love has changed drastically over my lifetime. When I was younger I had low self esteem and a poor self image. I felt as though nothing about me was quite right. From my hair to my skin. My height, weight, personality and even things like mentality. I was the kid that was “Wise for my age”. “Wise” did not fit in with my peers. I was considered rude, a know-it-all, a downer, boring, etc. I would consciously alter my personality for other people’s comfort. For people who thought I was too loud, I would speak quietly or not at all. For people who thought I was too sensitive, I would dismiss my emotions. The bullies I have experienced help me reflect on who I truly am and what I deserve.
After creating various DIY routines on brighter teeth, longer hair, and lighter skin I decided to look into why I felt these routines were necessary. At a young age, my mom introduced me to the ritual of journaling. Putting my thoughts on paper really helped me understand myself. I wrote often about how I feel about myself. I realized that a lot of the self image issues I had were internalized reactions to negative experiences. So, I had to build myself up!
I used journaling, affirmations and meditation to help build my self esteem. Spending time with myself allowed me to appreciate my qualities. I identified myself as loving, independent, funny and intelligent. I stopped relying on others to validate who I am. I no longer compromised who I am to fit in with others. It was hard hanging out with myself at first, but I grew to be my best friend. I went from awkwardly pretending to use my phone in social situations to standing with confidence in places I want to be. I work to be the best person I can be, for ME.
I take myself on dates, buy myself gifts, and celebrate my accomplishments with champagne. When I came to this place in my self love journey, I was able to establish some meaningful self care. I cared for myself mentally by instilling good habits for my emotional and mental health. I wanted to look as good as a felt, essentially developing a healthier self image. I love who I am naturally and decided my physical self-care will be towards enhancing natural beauty. My self care Saturdays became a ritual for me where I focus on relaxation and beauty. I go through my extended skin care routine, bathe and shave, exfoliate and moisturize, and drink cucumber/lemon water.
As much as I have grown to love myself, I still have a ways to go. I still have tough moments accepting myself for who I am. I still get tempted to imitate the ‘perfect’ person I think I should be. I still put myself down at times. But regardless, I always try to pick myself up.
Love yourself more than anyone else. You are beautifully unique, and deserve the absolute world <3. Take care of yourself babes!