Hello beauties! Guess what??? I got sick on the third day if my New year’s resolution. Yay! Seriously though, I felt like death. I had chills while I had my heat at 80 degree, I could not speak because my throat and chest hurt so bad, and I kept sleeping. I also didn’t eat, and threw up at midnight… Yeah, sick sick. But I am watching 90 day fiancé reruns and sucking on cough drops starting to feel better. I feel significantly better than yesterday, but still my muscles ache, I have a cough, and I am so so cold.
Why does this matter? Because! This is one of the things that can put a halt in a resolution! I could not do yoga today or yesterday. Normally two days is enough for anyone to fall off, but I am DETERMINED to be the yogi of my dreams. I am not sure how long it will take to gain enough energy to do yoga. I believe it is important to listen to your body, so I rest and relax as much as possible.
Today, I am finally feeling healthy! I am going to meditate and do a moon salutation tonight. It has been EIGHT WHOLE DAYS without my yoga practice, BUT I am ready to start again! These things happen so be nice to yourself. In the midst of being sick, I have been feeling lots of anxiety and have been experiencing some depression. The last couple of months in 2021, I went off my medication cold turkey. Not by choice, I just did not have any more refills, insurance, or a therapist anymore. I have insurance again and will be making an appointment to get my meds back, but I wanted to acknowledge the struggle of being without them.
I take medication for anxiety, depression, and manic depression. Without the medication, I begin feeling spacy and emotional. I begin having long pauses in my speech, I do not care to finish a thought, and I cannot maintain or control my emotions. I have a tough time verbally expressing my feelings, and often shut the world out and curl into myself. My mental illness drives me insane sometimes, because it makes me feel crazy and out of control. I want to be in control of my life, and that is why I am so dead set on growing my yoga practice. When I do yoga, I am focused, I smile, and I can talk to my body.
I just wanted to share that bit with you so you can better understand me and my reasoning. I also wanted you to know that life happens, daily. It is okay to fall down, you just gave to get back up. I want to be my best self for myself, and eventually for others. I hope you are doing well in your resolutions and are having a blessed start of your year!